Sunday, August 20, 2017

Aching For A Place of Significance

Photo courtesy of

Significance matters. It matters to the husband in the home. It matters to the wife in the home. It matters to employees that develop consistently good work, it matters to colleagues who bring a winning attitude to the board. It matters to school districts who tirelessly seek strongly devoted educators to invest in our youth. Significance matters to the child who's very existence flourish from the love and care of parents and family. Significance matters.

But what happens when we feel less significant or even, insignificant in the socially connected circles wherein we reside? How stammering it is when we find ourselves pushed beyond the outer edges of our connected circles. The deep disconnect that often occurs leaves us at times without words to articulate to others what we are feeling and that too can leave us with feelings or agitation and aggravation.

When there is a "disconnect" from a perceived power source, it lends itself to a spiraling down effect. Depending on your ages here (this is targeted to Boomers right about here) remember the old television sets that once shut off or disconnected, the picture or rather the screen didn't just go black/blank. But the screen appeared to shrink or spiral into one little dot on the tube and then it went blank. The same scenario within us occurs when we disconnect from any circle that validates our love, commitment, skills, and experiences, our self-worth, our belonging. We all need to be a part of something that gives credence to who we are and what we believe. No matter if it is perceived as something good and uplifting and empowering or if it is perceived as something bad, wrong, and desecrating - everyone has a need to belong.

Photo courtesy of Diane Egbers - Executive Coach

When there is an "aching for a place of significance" we find ourselves drawn into areas of our lives that tend to darken or shadow our paths. Adultery, greed, addictions, bitterness, aggression, hypochondria, depression, and even suicide can result from those that feel they have been marginalized; seemingly devalued. When closely evaluated it can be detected that the spawning of dictatorships is the direct results of individuals who at some time or another, were made to "feel" insignificant, devalued, and pushed out. 

How do we overcome feelings of insignificance? 
  • Know who YOU are! Self-worth is not ascribed to us by anyone other than the One who created us. Everything we have within us that composes who WE are did not come from anyone nor anything here on this earth. It came with US

    Therefore, it cannot be taken away, it cannot be forbidden, it needs no introduction, it requires no validation - it only mandates that it is put into practice! Validation comes when we step into our divine 'Purpose' and illuminate in and through revelation. Every step leading up to this is invaluable. It is at this point it is revealed that we can go it alone (without the validation of others) to accomplish divine assignment.

  • Priceless jewels are guarded! Once a rare and priceless jewel has been discovered it quickly becomes guarded. A rare jewel does not lose its value because it is not placed on public display (anybody remember Ms. Elizabeth Taylor? Even though she revealed her collection of exquisite jewels prior to her death, it was not available to the public except through broadcast television and no one handled that collection except Ms. Taylor).

    So it is with us...not one person is a duplicate of the other. We are divine and we administrate a divine agenda. We are rare. We are priceless. We are distinguished. Get this now, we illuminate when we stand on our designated platforms to achieve our missions. We do not have to fight and push and lie and manipulate for our significance - it's already there! Realizing it is the difficult part.
    Photo courtesy of

  • Being at peace within ourselves as we journey the paths. Remember when we were school age? Remember being in the classroom with your hand raised high and excitedly waving at the teacher to be chosen to answer a question, or to assist in completing a project? Remember how it felt to not be chosen for that particular task? Did it feel as though the teacher "didn't like" me or you at the time? Just because we aren't chosen for various projects, or included in meaningful events that occur within our connected circles does not mean we are less relevant; insignificant to those whom it matters most.

    What this means is the time for sharpening our tools to reach and uplift humankind should be taking place. The time needed for restoration to build momentum and gain traction to continue this journey must happen (or we're headed for serious burn out). This time lends itself to growing, developing, expanding, broadening, reflecting, shaping, and above all, mastering the innate gifts given to us to wisely use for their purposed end - lifting humanity. We do not have to be on "every" set. Every team. Every project. Every committee. Every anything. But we do have to be READY when called upon. Be at peace with that!
Conclusively, significance matters. It matters that we know who we are. It matters that we accept our validation as divine from the Divine. It matters that we know we are invaluable; priceless. It matters that we are called to 'step into' divine assignment as we move closer to our divine destinies. Significance matters - but our drive for understanding and realizing this should not take us off course, but rather, guide us in it.

Keep Going!

The Consultant

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Who Knows Where Inspiration Comes From (Streetwize -Lost Without U)

God knows I've never blogged a video compilation of a group, solo artist or anyone else for that matter but not only did this grab my attention, it changed the whole flow of energy throughout my home. This is a magnificent piece - just what the doctor ordered!

Listening to my favorite streaming music service (Pandora of course) and struggling, struggling, struggling through an awful attempt to complete a blog post ( which by now had me so totally drained and uninspired to go any further this came through just in time. With today being a national holiday and all, I wanted a sleepy relaxing day where my mind would be free to wander and be free of any type engagement I'm belabored with an incomplete assignment.

Sitting here at the PC for 4 hours doing everything but completing my post (not saying it isn't significant because it definitely is) yet, my determination to pull through this was undying. Then BAM! Out of nowhere comes this beautiful jazz arrangement of a song I totally love but love this arrangement even more - I just wanted to get up and dance, or go outside and play in the water using the garden hose, or be on a beautiful yacht in the middle of some beautiful expansive river with the cool breeze flowing and enjoying great conversation with close friends!

(Image courtesy of Fotolog)
And then when I saw the artists performing this arrangement  - I could have died! These look like babies still attending prom at the local high school. For real?!!

This is what dedication to craft and skill looks like. I can only imagine the hours the artists spent rehearsing, and writing, and listening, and feeling, and composing while rearranging... and making it happen. And now, to grab the attention of an Old Timer like me that it changes the course of my day and energy is beyond great. 

This same dedication to crafting skills is necessary in order to reach mastery. The hours spent now working, defining, researching, engaging, and sitting in (even on holidays when barbecuing is calling) suggests a higher calling being pursued.  When you have to struggle past the grind of complacency and setting your sights on higher ground the dedication and passion needed for the climb come by mysterious ways. One just never knows what motivational catalyst will come to move, shake, and rock away the boredom; listlessness. 

So hang in there! Yeah, your project(s) might start off funky and you feel as though you're locked in a dungeon as you watch and hear others dance and play. You just might have to sit at your PC and stare into nothingness. Remember, once its breaks its wide open -- and now you're the one wind sailing, enjoying exotic vacations, or simply barbecuing, because you won't have to wait for holidays to enjoy - any day becomes your (holiday) day! An earned day of rest is always sweeter!

Keep Going!

The Counselor

Monday, August 24, 2015

A Mentor In The Making

You know how we've all heard or read the scripture, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" quoted to us in times when serving up a hefty buffet of revenge (notice buffet and not a plate) was deservedly being planned (although revenge is never for any one of us to carry out) but those plans were intercepted by Truth and so went that buffet. And rightly so.

I've come to learn that life in and of itself is steadily developing mentors of us all. Whether our learning is applied to positively or negatively impact others lives will be a lasting impact. For in this life we are all being molded and shaped into mentors - mentors in the making!!!

We mentor others on our experiences and our perceived knowledge of what we take from those experiences. Regardless of the subject matter, nor the age, creed, or color, we all need mentors and we will in turn become mentors to those who seek growth and development. This is essential in building lasting relationships across the divide and beyond, in order to build anything lasting mentors must be well sought, well advised persons that are willing to lead.

Let's be honest about all of this: If we didn't have experienced individuals who forewarned us of the risks we were taking - none of us we be here in any capacity.

Now that we have come to understand and receive that we are all mentors to others in some aspect or another, there are some essential aspects to developing and being a mentor that fosters positive impact on those seeking mentors. Let's take a quick look:

1. Always entreat others with "Love" first and foremost. People will always remember the genuineness of your care and counsel. The greatest lessons of my life were taught in love. Those lessons took me farthest in life and those are most treasured in that I too, wanted to pass those lessons learned in the same love.

2. Always, always be honest. Be honest about your willingness to commit to mentoring. If you're in a particular place in life that let's say transitioning and your time commitment isn't there - be honest and communicate that. Quite possibly the mentee may be willing to wait for a period of time for you to become available. Another example that strongly applies here is being honest about the depth of your experience(s) in a given area. You know what you know. Make sure the person asking for mentoring understands your level of expertise and allow that person to make the judgement for themselves. People need honesty. That doesn't include stroking your ego.

3. Be patient with others. Everybody simply don't think using the left side of their brains. Everybody adheres to learning differently. Don't get impatient because it may take two or three teaching methods to get the point across. Sometimes, it may take another mentor to get that particular idea or concept over to the mentee. The most important thing is that they "get it" not who teaches it.

4. Don't take the task of learning away from the individual(s). Instead, allow that person and/or persons to learn whatever lessons to best of their abilities. If they don't get it, they'll let you know. It will show greatly. But their receptiveness to really learn and develop has to be their desire. If you happen to meet those few who really are looking for others to do "their" work (and usually for ) "free" and want to invest no time in developing themselves, please show them the door. That ploy will serve two very empty purposes: (1) It will expend your time and talents with no pay and; (2) It doesn't bring anyone into accountability of the job being performed. Remember, this isn't for your development it's for the one who came knockin.

5. Respect the decisions of your mentees. The weight of responsibility comes with mentoring for both the mentor and mentee. However, this does not mean you have to carry the burden of mentees who act irresponsibly with your time, your resources, and your counsel. Be wise when mentoring others. You have heard the scripture quoted, "Don't throw your pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6). This means, don't spend your time giving sound advice and wisdom to those who will do more with it than throw it in a gutter. Wow, what a waste! Too valuable. Whether we as mentors like it or not, we must respect the decisions of the adults who come to us for mentoring as to what they want to happen in their lives or businesses. They have the final decision. Let them have it!

6. Know when your season is past. Every person being mentored does so for varying reasons and again, everyone is not on the same level. Depending on what the individual's need determines the length of mentoring. No matter the time period, it is vital to know when you're done, after all, isn't this what growth is all about (to see if the person has learned enough to begin applying what you've taught?). 

Don't allow mentoring to take the place of fee-based consulting. It's imperative to know the differences as well as knowing upfront what is expected of all parties involved. Mentors need to be concise in delivering what's being sought of them so there will be a clear end to earmark. After you have given of yourself and your knowledge base there comes an end (or rather, until further notice - LOL) that must be expressed or all of this will become wearisome to a degree. Mentoring should not be wearisome - heartfelt yes, but wearisome, (hmmm, I guess if you find yourself with a problem child) not in the slightest. Why? Because mentors truly appreciate, respect and are honored that the attributes exemplified in part are noteworthy and that those attributes are worthy of being replicated. 

Mentoring provides an opportunity to help nurture and shape future generations. There is absolutely no way mentoring can occur without giving some of yourself in the process and this is and will continue to be the strongest element in mentoring; how much of ourselves we pass on to others. After all, shouldn't the best of our attributes live on forever?

Keep Going!
The Living Consultant

Sunday, August 9, 2015

The Double-Edged Sword Of Time!

It seems as though it was just a few months ago (certainly not eight months) that the New Year's celebrations were high and rolling on through the night. Ringing in the New Year in Las Vegas, NV is like no other place in the world....They make magic happen! Lights, cameras, celebrities of every movie and music genre, sleek cars, beautifully dressed people, nervous entertainers, and overwrought hotel and restaurant staff running wildly from one step to the next...and it never stops! There to is something else that doesn't stop...the clocks on the wall. Whether they can be seen or not - they keep ticking, just as they're doing now. Ticking with the sound that another year is heading toward its end. As a business owner, in regard to the clock's warning tick, where are you in the process of ending this year strong.

Coming into this year so many resolutions were made. New Day Planners rolled out and/or Google Calendars were already being filled in and shared. Business goals were developed, posted, placed on internal message boards, etc., and shot out across social media venues telling others (internal teams or external stakeholders) what to expect in this new year. Man, oh man, when that ball fell in Times Square in New York city, and equally, when those rocket-like fireworks flew into the air from atop the various roof tops of the over-glamorized casinos in Las Vegas, people roared with excitement, looking hopefully into their futures with great aspirations and gladiator-like invincibility to succeeding in their various industries.

The following days were filled with vigor and gusto to beat it down the track! With new cell phones, laptops, netbooks, tablets, and phablets, all the goodies from the holidays fell out at new meetings ready to go...Let's get 'er done!!!

Now, it's August. For most, we've just entered the second month of the 3rd Qtr of the year and nearing Summer's end. School bells are ringing, college kids are getting in their last weekend hangouts before it's back to dorms and books, and stalled vacation plans have left others irritable and looking to grasp any amount of time even if it's a trip to the mountains or beach - any outing before the whip cracks again is better than nothing at all.

Herein is where a business owner assumes responsibility and accountability for having used time wisely and advantageously. Here's where all those meetings either meant something and nothing (profited by them in some way or not). For all the agendas and meeting notes compiled, for all the webinars and seminars taken or not taken (but were seriously needed), for the website(s) that went up or taken down, for the blog posts that were forgotten or never written, for the marketing campaigns that were planned and should now be ready for execution, the clock on the wall tells all.

It tells:

  1. Whether (or not) you heeded the advice of Influencers, Industry Leaders, and other successful corporate icons suggesting and recommending everything from starting up to starting over.
  2. Whether some attended summer school while others went out to play and now hurriedly return to "throw" something at the marketplace.
  3. Whether the patronage of every client and potential client is sincerely appreciated by their names already being in the Holiday card mailing list. (Oh, you did remember to plan, select and order the customized cards right?)
  4. Whether the few remaining business networking events convening in your area will be attended by you and staff.
  5. Whether fiscal reporting is accurate and stated fiscal goals are being achieved.
  6. Whether strategy was developed and deployed (at the beginning of the year) that yields measurable results that can be proven and continued; increased. If the strategy set forth isn't yielding the desired results, why?
  7. Whether the editorial content calendar...wait, there is an editorial content calendar, right? Press Releases? Anything that tells the public that you're alive and....
  8. What tools, technologies, or staffing is needed to handle the workload in the coming months.
  9. Whether the business is in proper position to hit the ground running with launched marketing campaigns before, during and after Labor Day week.
  10. Whether or not you, as a business owner, have a clue as to what's needed to enter this last stretch before heading into the Fall and Holiday Seasons.
The clock is telling what businesses will finish strong. It will tell what businesses will finish poorly. The evidence of the clocks findings in the coming months, will be your visibility or invisibility in the marketplace. Time will tell all.

Here's To You Showing Up!

(The Living Consultant)